i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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