I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize