Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
