Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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