Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
