I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
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