Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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