You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
