my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
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