I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
