what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
