jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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