I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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