I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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