The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
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