After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
