Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
