what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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