i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
