In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
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