That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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