Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize