theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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