My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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