So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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