After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
