How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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