Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
