i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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