You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I'm getting married
To pizza
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
