Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Randomize
