funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Randomize
