Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
