your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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