Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
