So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
