This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
