i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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