Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
