I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
