pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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