His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
