The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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