I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
you made out with another girl for some wings
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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