dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
