I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
