It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
