I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
