I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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