oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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