your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Randomize
