Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
