she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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