Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
