Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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