So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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