you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize