i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
