i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
