I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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