Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I bet he comes in French.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize