i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
look no pants
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
