i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
