I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
